For everyone’s attention, and to you, too, dear Lord, it’s been the roughest time of my life ever.  So here I am, throwing you, and You, some of my cranky thoughts….  But cheer up still, gals… J 

Warning:  If your current feeling is blue, better not read this one.  I’m being me, that’s all the wrong thing in the article.  But I still think that you could learn few things in it, though.  At least at my positive point of view in seeing troubles.  Luv ya!!!

*****

Fact1:  I’m still having my hard day’s night

Hue

..he..he.. Everyone knows that I’m totally a kick-ass girl.  Well, let’s admit, as the assistant of the most authorized person in my office, they often felt kind of frightened to my presence, to which it would be possible for them to have the boss’ instruction through my very own mouth every time I got near them (biasanya anak-anak Pemasaran neh, hue..he..he..)  That’s fun; actually, I enjoyed every single fear that can be noticed from those pathetic souls of typical workers.  But suddenly… this woman came, with her ‘amazing’ intellectuality, full of energy and charming personality, blasted in blur, ruined my working method, and my heart, at the same time.  Since her position is upper than me, I nodded, I blowed up all the ‘yes, Mam’-thing, I agreed, I obeyed, and I was captivated in a very complicated way.  But anyhow, the Rebellious Dhi still inside.  So no matter how many times I show her my smiley face, I keep fighting on her in my own way, and still convincing my self that she’s suck, with every single wrong step or silly stuffs she did.  Hua..ha..ha..  I STILL RULE AND IN FULL CONTROL, B*****!!!

Conclusion:  I ‘aint mad because of her.  I full opened for any critics, so I deal with her wisely…

Fact2:  The one I loved dumped me

Okay now, don’t be such pansies.  I mean I truly realize that I never had his heart in the very first place, anyway.  So why feel bothered?  Then let me explain.  This guy was once totally rockin’ my damn world.  It’s not every day you meet someone who understands you inside and outside, treats you like you’re his sweet little sister, protects you and defends you, answers all of your questions, takes a very care of you, and being a picture perfect of your soul mate of your life, etc… etc…  But in case of him doing all of those sweet things just to have an opportunity to take an advantage of you is truly gave you an annoyed thoughts.  I mean, I’m no easy girl.  Okay, maybe I looked like one, but I never surrender my self or my heart, to a stranger.  So this guy definitely successful in making me looked and felt like a jack ass with this masking and acting stuff of his.  Ass hole!!!  But nevertheless, I’m still the perfect woman for my self.  Nothing else matters, then.  Beside, like what they say about ‘there’s always a silver lining in every cloud’ I found out that the statement was kind of true.  At the bright sight, I now have the ability to identify those ‘bastards’ so I won’t fall at the same crack twice, thanks to him.  So it’s all worth it.

Conclusion:  He affects me nothing!!!   Like I care, geto loh…

Fact3:  My surroundings are smarter than me!!! *feeling kinda insecure*

What a lame girl.  I always know that I’m stupid (the word ‘stupid’ here means its real definition) I actually the stupidest one in the family.  My beloved Father was not some kind of pretty boy, but God blessed him with bright thoughts.  He was such a brainy, and it has ran in the family.  My other two siblings are just damn clever children (but unfortunately with less power to struggle) But not to me.  I always had to try fucking hard for my wills.  I managed to survive from them eventually.  But with this new surrounding, hold on right there, girl!  You’re just not as good as you think!  It’s a real big world out there.  Even though I fully realize my position and how lucky I am to be here along with those great guys, I sometimes felt kind of intimidated with my educational background compared to others’ I always believe that I’m a genius (self confidence is good J) So it is true, I’m better than them emotionally (FROM MY OWN POINT OF VIEW, no need to pissed of, bro!) but when it comes to the intellectual side, I step beside.  But no worry, someday soon, I’ll be totally better than all of them (again, FROM MY OWN POINT OF VIEW)  All because I already started on my class since this September, majoring in Accounting (wohoho…  Sok bangget yatz, mao jadi Akuntan, bumpy road ahead, sweetie pie T__T)  But to be back to school and once again being a student is sort of fun.  Like it….

Conclusion:  How dare you to tell me that I’m nothing but a Fool!!!  Liat empat

                   tahun lagi yatz!!!

Fact4:  My dearest mother told me that she thought that I never loved her!!!

WTF?!?!  Hallloowwwww……?  My main purpose of working would be you, dear mother!!!  How could you say that?  It’s true that I never love that mother of yours, but you are the one that I soberly cherish for all these times.  It is true that I haven’t got the time to visit you more often yet, but our heart connection is not depended on that. And it is true that I will never even get the nominee for ‘Best Daughter Award, if there any such a competition, but I love you truly.  For God’s sake, Mom…

Conclusion:  Parents!!!  *Speechless* o__O;

Huffff….  What a relive to let them all out of me T~T  Sorry if you have to hear those (take the consequences, pals.  Why the hell you read this at the very first place anyway?  It’s not that I didn’t warn you :-P)

But as I always try to see at things positively, I think I have no complaining.  Did I complaining?  Kayanya engga dhe :-“)  Maybe I’m being too narcist, but I always believe that Allah SWT The Al Mighty still loves me, even if it’s shown with the strangest ways.  Hell, I’m ALIVE and KICKIN’ it’s like you’re having a super duper hyper joy around (Hey, what else would you ask if you’re having your faith, family, friends, proper job and affection in your hands.  They might be not the perfect ones, but they all yours) I already got this far, I won’t regret any of it.  Well, maybe some little embarrassing moments   But I got everything I needed just right here.  Just have to be more patient and keep improving my self next time, if I wanted to reach something bigger.  I know I can make it if I just tried (Huaaa…. Jangan bosen ma quote ini yatz…. It’s my favorite one, baby!!!)

Keeping the habit, I put here some beautiful saying of my favorite current local band, Nidji (I really do love the lyrics, even though I don’t even know the title):

“Here we are, try to reach the stars,

We are getting higher on and on,

Go! Go! Go!

Like a hyper joy, we came along this far,

We are getting bigger on and on,

We’re untouchables!!!”

*****

The implicit message in this one’s article would be: JUST NEVER QUIT THE FIGHT, SISTA!  NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS!  You go gals!!!

For Siska, thank you for encouraging me to keep writing the blog.  Haven’t got the mood yet, until you sent me your beautiful testimonial!  In way to send mine for you.  Luv u!  Looking forward to have another fun time with you next time!

Hm… do I looked desperate?  Aaaarggghhhh!!!!  Get out of here!!!